Did you get triggered during holiday family gatherings lately?
Do you ever judge yourself (harshly) when you get angry?
Do you feel ashamed of yourself when you have strong, "unloving" feelings?
It happens to all of us. I see it in myself and in many of my clients...
When we get very upset, we try to eradicate that part of us that is not our best, we try to change as fast as possible, but then the next anger burst happens. Can you relate?
What if I told you that your anger is also a part of yourself that deserves to be loved?
Ohhh...that sounds like a stretch right?
Look at my little Fede. In this video, he was practicing his angry face! I don't know about you, (I may be extremely biased ) but when I look at him getting angry, I think that he's the cutest thing in the whole world!
Press play to watch the video!
When we try to eradicate those 'dark" parts of us that rise up, we enter a battle that's impossible to win. Instead, I've discovered that the biggest game changer in my life, (as well as in my clients' lives) in the last years, was to accept all aspects of myself, no matter how bad or ugly they seemed. When I can do that...voilà! I become free. I am free from my judgments, I feel immediately lighter and I can have self-compassion that quickly leads into self- love. I may even have a good cry in the process, and that's fine. I tell my inner child (that innocent part of me that is always inside of me) that I've got her back. I tell her that she's allowed to feel any feeling that she has. She's allowed to be angry. You're allowed to feel angry. The underlying emotion behind anger is sadness, and I give you permission to feel sad. Here's a way that will help you love yourself, even at "your worst": When you feel horrible and are judging yourself for losing your temper and not being spiritual enough, I want you to stop for a minute. Look at that little girl inside you, your inner child. You can look at a picture of when you were a child. And ask yourself: "When this little girl was angry was she deserving of LOVE?" "When this little girl was sad was she LOVABLE?" See how the fight lets go? And what happens next? Take a deep breath ... How do you feel now? Yes! Lighter and freer. Can you start being gentler with yourself? Bonus points: usually, as we do this quick process, the anger truly lifts up. It's replaced with self-compassion and self-love. Yes, you may need to make amends if you hurt someone along the way. Yes, you have to take responsibility for your actions and look at what truly hurt you (triggered you) to start with. But most importantly, look at that little girl within you, and give her the love she needs and deserves. It will change your life. Just as I love Fede to the moon and back when he's angry, you can love yourself the same way with any of your feelings. ALL FEELINGS ARE VALID!
Are you ready to BEGIN AGAIN? When you do these simple, but profound changes, your life starts changing drastically. What could have been a "ruined day" because you judged yourself for feeling angry, becomes a day where you've learned more about yourself. Becomes a day where you can hug yourself and be gentle. Becomes a beautiful day. You won't believe me until you try it, but I can guarantee that that's what happens. I can show you how to transform your days, that become your life, from dark and heavy into light and beautiful. Let me help you
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