Why your dreams are not manifesting (and why you may hate me when you read this)

So, you’ve held a dream dear to your heart for months, maybe years, and you are still not seeing it manifested in your life.

You’ve bought the courses, done the affirmations, lit the candles, visualized, taken plenty of action, and even “let go” of your desire, but still, nothing happened.

You probably thought that you must not be doing enough manifestation techniques, so you’ve invested in a coach, bought the best selling books, repeated time after time that you are worth it of living your dreams, and filled your office with posted notes assuring that you dream IS a reality.

But yet again, nothing happened.

Crippling anxiety is making you believe that you may be doing something wrong.

What else to try? What else should I do? You may ask….

You’ve probably heard about surrendering, and I know, I know what you’ll tell me…

“I’ve already surrendered, Mercedes!”

But, have you really surrendered though?

Surrender is that broad word that means so many different things, and reminds us of “failure” and “defeat”.

There are so many ways of surrendering, and it’s for each of us to find what it means for us. In my case, surrendering meant at the lowest point of my life literally going on my knees and praying to the Higher Power of my understanding:

“You guide me from now on. You do through me, you show me, you take me where I need to go”

That prayer was the opening door to surrender, but true surrendering, to me was to take action in a different direction than I was taking at the time.

Many of you know, that around a decade ago, I had a successful coaching business. Many of you were my clients and followed my blog posts at the time. You may also know the story of how it all quickly crumbled after I suffered a TBI in a big-wave surfing accident, that completely changed my life.

The dream of being a successful coach, motivational speaker, and published author vanished in the years that followed my accident. My world become more about survival than about growing a career that died at the moment that my surfboard hit my forehead that cold morning in the Oregon outer reef.

I tried for a couple of years to stay afloat in Hawaii, I pushed to sell my Abundance courses, yet I was literally going broke. Nothing was working for me. Believe me, I’ve tried it all.

So I had to surrender. I didn’t want to, but I had to in order to survive.

The Universe is funny in giving us clear signs. A week after my prayer on my knees, I went to Texas to a meditation retreat, and one of the retreat participants offered me a 6-figure job selling life insurance in Austin.

It hit me like a blast of energy, I asked for guidance and help and here I was being offered a great income that would resolve all of my financial troubles.

I didn’t want to, but I said YES.

It was heartbreaking to leave my beloved Hawaii behind and move to a landlocked city. Leaving my dog Ella with my ex-husband was something too painful to even write about, and let’s not even talk about stopping surfing.

My heart was absolutely ripped. But I had to do what I had to in order to survive (financially and literally physically). My brain was too damaged from the concussion and every time I went surfing I was damaging it some more. I had to stop surfing and focus on healing.

I won’t bore you with a long, 7-year journey into my 6-figure life insurance job, that eventually led me to a breakdown (dang, sales are too stressful for me!), that led me to a chill waitressing job, and many other gigs in between.

Because what I did for work really doesn’t matter. It was a long road, where over and over again I had to find myself surrendering and letting go of my will.

What did surrendering mean to me? It meant to stop doing what I actually wanted to do (be a coach, speaker, author) and go get a freaking job!

This is where you may hate me because if you’ve been long enough in the personal development world, you will hear over and over again: manifest your desires and never LET GO OF YOUR DREAM.

What an inspirational quote that has sunk so many people I know into depression and bankruptcy.

Never letting go sounds so idyllic, but I’ve found out it was a dangerous way of approaching my life. If I would have never let go of surfing in Hawaii, I guarantee you I would have suffered a stroke, and most probably I wouldn't be alive.

I remember when I was still living in Hawaii that I asked my spiritual teacher what to do in regard to my situation and he said:

“Go get a job, or you will go broke”.

I literally felt like a punch in my stomach when I heard those words. He was right and my body knew it. I hated what he said and I was angry. I hated him for saying that! But I knew I had to do it.

Going back to the “getting a job” theme, I don't have a happy ending where I can tell you: I’ve got this fantastic job that resolved everything for me.

God, I’ve done so many things I did not want to do. Did you know that in most restaurants, when you work as a waiter, you also have to clean the restaurant bathrooms at the end of the shift?

So, there I was, concussed, at 11 pm at night every night, cleaning bathrooms while listening to spiritual talks.

Sometimes it was bad, and most times it wasn’t, because I was learning to love it all. I was learning to love myself in the shit (literally), love my situation, and even be grateful for that waitressing job that was allowing me to stay afloat.

Seven years passed since I left Hawaii, and my life has actually become a big dream manifested, without really trying.

I live today with Leo, my partner (which I met at my restaurant job, go figure!). We live in a beach town where we surf mellow waves most days. We moved from Austin to Corpus Christi last year and started a whole new life together. Well, as I write now I have a little boy growing in my belly, so surfing is rare nowadays, but the ocean is still there.

We've combined my knowledge of branding, business, and marketing and his knowledge of swimming pool maintenance & repairs and we've built a business that went from $0 to $250K in revenue in the first year.

Nowadays I enjoy long beach walks with my dog Jimbo, and we live in a home that is certainly not a mansion but is the most beautiful, spacious home I’ve ever lived in my whole life. We bought our home last year and a life of abundance is all around us.

In just one year I went from being single, making $100 a shift as a waitress to being comfortable financially, owning our house close to the ocean, and making a family!

You never know what life will bring, I've learned that I need to take action while surrendering to the flow of life.

Guess what happened once I surrendered, took responsibility for my immediate life (like paying my bills and healing my brain), and worked on loving myself in each phase of my life, even if it didn’t look like what I envisioned?

Here I am, back to blogging, back to helping women through my coaching to feel good about themselves and get the confidence to go for their dreams. I’m back to doing what I love and what I so wanted to do years back. But I had to go on my journey and get those jobs, take care of myself, build myself up again, and find joy in a very simple life.

I had to learn to be happy with what I had, be grateful and follow the Universe's will each step of the way. When I totally forgot about this thing called “manifesting”, I realized I was already living my dream.

It is happening now, as we speak. I just allowed life to bring me to it as I took care of my own life.

So before you go and buy another book on manifestation, why don’t you look inside and ask yourself:

Where do I have to let go of the fight?

How do I need to take care of my own needs right now?

It’s OK if you hate me for reading this. That means that something has been triggered inside that needs to be seen.

It needs to be uncovered and healed. And most importantly, a new course of action has to be taken.

This is the key: don’t try to figure out the result of that action. You won’t be able, even if you really tried. Let the universe take you where you need to be, and open the doors that are waiting for you, at its own, divine time.

Let me know,

Are you ready to surrender (in whatever form that may be for you) and let go?

What does that look like for you today?

Please share with us in the comments below, so we can all support each other in this journey.

Besos,

Update: I wrote this blog post when I was pregnant and never published it until now. Baby Fede was born on April 25th. He's the sweetest soul I ever met. You can see him grow as I post on my Instagram account.

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